So many pills. One to make me happy, one to make me less anxious, one to help me sleep, and one so I can drink a cup of milk for crying out loud. I feel lost in pills. I feel lost without them too though. I don’t want to go to work tonight and pretend that I am happy. I am tired of faking it.
“she prays for days when boys mean she’s protected, and she wants someone to see her, she needs to hear she’s beautiful, she’s beautiful…”
Did you know that you taught me that being in a relationship was happy? Did you know that you taught me that it wasn’t ok to be alone? Did you know that you taught me that appearance is everything? Or that showing emotions is wrong? Oh and you taught me it’s not ok to be yourself. And who needs to do adult things like pay bills when you can ignore them? Did you know that your example taught me that love was what you could get from someone?
I am sad for you…
It may have taken me years to move past your teachings and I may struggle from time to time…but I am better. I love you…but I can’t be like you. And sometimes I can’t even be around you.
Ugh! I just keep chanting it’s my friday…three days off…i can do this.
Am on lunch and lost in thought…”there’s a brighter bright, i’m waiting til you’re crazy enough to try, there’s a brighter bright”
Work is so eh tonight. Everyone seems on edge. Thank goodness for thriving ivory…”i feel it in my bones and i wear it on my skin.”
It’s amazing how a shower can change your whole outlook on the day. PS. I love being a girl and getting to use pretty smelling stuff
Can’t stop listening to this song. Had to make something with a few of the words from it.
Twilight By Thriving Ivory
I recall a long farewell and a time to choose
So we part like rivers baby, yeah like rivers do
But I still talk about you though and wonder
How your life will unfold
Show me what it looks like
Outside your window at twilight
Show me what it looks like
I recall driving home, this ain’t gonna hear me till God knows when
You know I feel it in my bones and I wear it on my skin
But there ain’t no use in right or wrong
A heart must go where it belongs
Show me what it looks like
Outside your window at twilight
Is it me that you see dancing on a line
Singing I could be yours if you would be mine
Come on grow old with me and surely you’ll see
And I remember thinking, boy you must be dreaming
So hold on, hold on, before it’s all gone
And I do remember thinking that your world would go on spinning
Without me now, so c’me on, c’mon please
Show me what it looks like
Outside you window at twilight
Show me what it looks like
Outside you window at twilight
Is it me that you see dancing on a line
Singing I could be yours if you would be mine
Come on grow old with me and surely you’ll see
I recall a long farewell and a time to choose
So we part like rivers baby, yeah like rivers do
It’s father’s day and I think of him. It’s fitting I guess. It would be a special day for him if he still lived. I can’t sleep. I haven’t slept. So consumed I am with these thoughts and regrets. Why did we continue to allow something in the past to keep us apart? He’s gone now and I never got to tell my father that I forgave him and that I was sorry. I am sorry. I’m sorry things turned out this way. I’m sorry I was a bad daughter. I’m sorry I wasn’t what you wanted me to be. I’m sorry, more than anything I’m sorry, that I wasn’t there when you passed. That I wasn’t there to see you as the years went on. I miss you. I miss the times we should have had. Happy Father’s day dad. Happy Father’s day.
Some people over evaluate their worth in my eyes. Being mean to you could cost me my job and you arent worth my job. Grow up.
So tired of all of the drama. What kills me is it’s one person almost single handedly making work this stressful. Want to go home.
I’m so furious righ now for probably no reason. Still, I should you something that meant something to me and you dismiss it. I don’t dismiss things that mean anything to you. It makes me not want to share things with you. what’s that? What kind of friendship is that? Ugh!!!!!
The best friend.
So ready to go home and crawl in bed. A little less than 2 hours to go.
My LOA is over and it’s back to work tonight. I’m kind of looking forward to it. On Saturday nights they’ve been scheduling 3 cashiers instead of 2. Plus we have our CSS. Tonight is going to be even better because the other 2 cashiers are the 2 that I actually enjoy working with. Time to start earning some money again.
Just a wallpaper I made to use on my Creative Zen (mp3 player).
